Friday, June 25, 2010

So this week was/is pretty great. Healthwise, I'm probably the most optimistic I've been in a long time. The doctor switched some medications, made some referrals, and--best of all--gave me a medication to help me sleep which has helped enormously. And emotionally, I think I'm doing well, too. I know I mentioned this last week, but it is so great living with my best friend and someone who knows what I'm going through because she's going through something similar, too. Last Thursday, we both had pretty bad nights, but instead of being horribly depressed and disappointed like we normally would be when we were feeling that terrible, we ended up laying around and laughing and being encouraging to one another. And then Friday night ended with us both laying on the floor staring at the ceiling just laughing at ourselves and how ridiculous we were sure we both looked. So much better than laying around alone and moping! Also, physical therapy has gone on for 2 weeks now, and even though it was the cause of feeling terrible last weekend, we took a step back this week and now I'm able to handle it and feeling really good about it.

Okay, non-health-stuff. The fun part. Last weekend was Shari's nephew's birthday party, so we went to her parents' house and had a super fun party. I love Shari's family and how inclusive they are. And Shari's nephews are so adorable, and I had fun playing with them. Then, on Wednesday, it was the actual birthday, and we went to Red Robin, and I discovered the LETTUCE BURGER! (lettuce instead of a bun) which was soooo good! (Cue Teen Girl Squad)

I'm really, really excited for the next few days. Tonight, the two ladies Shari works with and Shari and I are making crafts out of tin cans. Then, later tonight, Tricia is coming!!! It will be super fun to see her--it's been over a year!--and especially fun to hang out with her AND Shari, which hasn't happened in--ummmm--probably almost two years. And then, on Tuesday, Shari and I are going to the Pittsburgh Symphony concert with IDINA MENZEL! Maybe my all-time favorite singer woman ever. Maybe.

Okay, so this is mainly update and very little profound thought. Maybe more profound thoughts next week. Or maybe just me gushing about my Idina Menzel love :-)

Monday, June 14, 2010

First Week

I’ve gone a little over a week without posting, but the past two weeks have been all kinds of busy. I finished my three week course on academic journal publishing a week ago, Friday, complete with a “ceremonial emailing” of my paper to the journal I hope will publish it. Other than a wedding of two friends on Saturday, the entire weekend was a whirlwind of packing, cleaning, and organizing so that I could leave on Monday. I drove six hours to West Lafayette, IN, and visited one of my good friends from college, Katie. Katie and I were in the honors program together and went to Oxford together the summer after our sophomore year, but we hadn’t seen each other since college. So it was a fun reunion. On Tuesday, I drove seven and a half hours to Pittsburgh. Wednesday, I had my first consultation with the clinic, and on Thursday I had two more. I’m now feeling positive and hopeful about the whole situation. The first few days, I was really nervous and worried and had a lot to process through; plus it was an adjustment moving to Pittsburgh and getting used to how life is going to be for the next few months. Last night, though, I talked things through with my parents, talked to God for awhile, and started feeling at peace about everything. I’m still nervous and it’s still scary, but I trust that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and that something really good is going to come out of this summer.
I really like living with Shari. I love having the time to clean and cook, and it’s fun to have someone coming home for whom you can make dinner. (In other words, I think I’m going to like being married someday. :-P) Also, Shari and I have each been able to do lots to help the other, so I think living together might make life a little easier on us both.
I think God’s using this time to help me grow. My main prayer this summer is I become closer to and more passionate about him throughout this summer. Through those first few days, I processed through a lot of the hard stuff that has gone on this year, and I felt like my “framework” for understanding life just kept getting more and more confused as I thought about everything that has happened. I just couldn’t fit all the pieces into the picture of what I thought my life looked like . . . and what I thought God was doing with my life. In the pilot of Castle, Rick Castle says, “There’s always a story. Always a chain of events that makes everything make sense.” As a literature person, I constantly try to think of organizational frameworks that make the story of my life make sense, and when things don’t seem to fit in--or I can’t find a new story framework--I tend to get frustrated. As a Christian, I know that I won’t understand the whole story until I get to heaven. And I think that means that sometimes I need to learn to be okay with trusting God’s story for my life and not worrying about finding my own narrative framework that makes everything “fit.”