Monday, December 26, 2011

Christmas Comfort

In his sermon this weekend, Pastor Piper talked about how God is not efficient. He's a big God, and he likes showing off how big and all-controlling he is by doing things in complicated and awe-inspiring ways. Like getting a girl from Nazareth to Bethlehem by using a world tax.

I find that very comforting. Sometimes I don't get why God does things in my life the way he does, or I don't get how God is going to use something in my life for good. But sometimes what doesn't make sense is actually just God showing off how amazing he is.

Friday, December 16, 2011

Joss Whedon Kindred Spirits

This time last year, I was sad because all of my friends who liked Buffy and other Joss Whedon things lived far, far away from me, so I had to watch Whedon stuff alone. But today, I had a Joss Whedon watching party with my friend Bethany from grad school, and it was great!! We watched Once More with Feeling and Tabula Rasa and Dr. Horrible. And we talked about Buffy and grad school and church and boys and . . . it was just a really great night. Just what I needed at the end of a crazy busy end-of-the-semester week! I'm going to start watching Battlestar Galactica over the break, and we already have plans to get together and watch some 'sodes of that. It's gonna be Legendary.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Losing People

Thoughts about death have been weighing heavily on me the past month or so. This year, it seems to have been coming up more frequently than (at least what I thought was) normal. I got into two car accidents in January. One wasn't very serious, but in the other, I swerved through two lanes of traffic, missed crashing into a car on the side of the road by a few moments and the grace of God, and took out a mile marker post as I ran down the side of the freeway. I wasn't injured, and even my car was repaired, but those few moments of thinking I could be about to die--the kind that I had experienced during the tornado--really shook me.

The next month, my best friend got into a car accident which was way more serious than either of mine. She suffered some bad injuries and is still recovering from and dealing with a concussion. One of things I'm most grateful about in this year is the fact that God protected her and allowed her to survive, but it was yet another reminder of how fragile life is.

In September, someone I knew from Union passed away. She was a year younger than me and good friends with some of my friends. Even though she and I were not close, it really hurt to have someone whom I had seen every day suddenly not be around anymore.

In October, a good friend from graduate school lost her mother to a battle with pancreatic cancer. I had been with them a few months before when I visited them in Virginia. Her mother was such a kind and welcoming person. And this friend--when I think about what she's going through, I cry. I know that there is nothing I can do to make her pain any better, and I hate that her mother is gone.

Then, last week, a friend called me saying that two people he knew had passed away that week. One was a really good friend of his, and someone in one of my fantasy football leagues. I didn't know this person, but I felt for my friend. It also was hard for me to imagine a wife and two kids suddenly without a husband and dad, a church without one of its members, friends without him.

I know that I believe in a God who is bigger than our momentary lives, but sometimes I still have trouble dealing with the shortness and fragility of life. And even if I can handle that my own life is short and could end at any moment, even if I can look forward to eternity with Christ, I selfishly don't want to let go of people while I'm here on earth. These kind of moments remind me that I still have a ways to go before I'm fully trusting God to know what is best and to be everything that I need.

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Apologies, Random Thoughts, and Written?Kitten!

So, it's been a long time since I've blogged. Um, yeah. I just checked and there's been nothing since October. I wish I could say it was an ironic commentary on NaNoWriMo, but alas. It was just my life getting in the way of my personal blogging.

In good news, though, November wasn't entirely blog-free. I did write an entire blog post on Faith for Let's Get Jossed (one which, I might add, I was quite pleased with :-P). AND, a professor from UU recommended me to an editor of a major publication who wants someone to blog about grad school!!* So, I sent two sample posts in and am waiting to hear back to see if they like it. Either way would be great and feed my writer's ego. (Because, really, what doesn't make you feel like a "real writer" like rejection?)

Anyway, I'm planning to revitalize my blog in January. I don't usually do "New Year's Resolutions," but I am going to aim to write on my blog at least once a week in 2012. Which means I'll stop worrying about actually having something amazing to say every time I want to post and just say whatever. Cause* let's be honest. Even when I plan to say something amazing, it often isn't as fascinating to the rest of the world as it is to me. For now, I'll just say a few things that are on my mind . . .

1. TV shows should not only have 22-24 episodes a season. Because when HIMYM leaves me on a giant cliffhanger like it did two weeks ago, or when I really need a laugh and Modern Family isn't there . . . that hurts.

2. Car shopping is one of the most stressful things in the world. I always* told myself that I would be the cool sacrificial-living kind of person that drove old cars until they fell apart and then bought a different used car to drive around until it fell apart. Because then, I figured, all the money I wasn't spending on the car could go toward church and ministry and stuff. But this past year has taught me that keeping an old car running can sometimes be almost as expensive as making payments on a newer car. So . . . it looks like I might be looking at a newer car. And there goes* all of my hippie Christian cred.

3. Written? Kitten! is one of the best websites ever for anyone who does any significant amount of writing. And/or anyone who likes kittens a lot. See every asterisk mark in this post? I got a new kitten picture on the screen each time for having written 100 words :-)