So, I haven't posted since May 21 when I announced that I got a new job and was moving to Georgia. I have my reasons. Mainly, because working on comps, preparing for a new job, and moving 19 hours across the country (not to mention breaking up with the boyfriend in the midst of all this) is ridiculously time-consuming and stressful, and even when I had the time to blog, all I wanted to blog was, "I'M SO STRESSED!" or "I'M SO SAD!" or "I'M SO TIRED!" And let's be honest. No one wants to read that.
Now I'm in Georgia. The move went mostly well, minus a car accident in Indiana, a scary night getting lost outside of Nashville on tiny streets with a huge Uhaul in the dark on our way to the hotel, a number of work orders being sent in the first few days of living in my new house, and the grossest kitchen EVER! What I realized through all this, though, is that I have the greatest family. My parents spent a full day cleaning, scrubbing, soaking, and waxing things in my kitchen until the cabinets and floors literally changed color. My brother worked non-stop building my bed and moving heavy things and doing other things that required muscles, etc. And they were all so patient with me! We also got great family time. My brother and I drove together most of the way down, and we had such good talks ranging in topic from theology to Mumford and Sons to favorite characters on Whedon shows. My parents and I explored Rome together, unpacked, and watched lots of Warehouse 13 in the evenings.
My parents left Sunday morning, and I've been fighting the loneliness since then. It helps that Bryan and Renee--peeps from Union--are here and had me over for dinner on Monday night. Then, tonight, Shari and I talked for quite a long while. It also helps that I've been overwhelmingly busy during the day. I sent off my portfolio (110 pages if I hadn't single-spaced annotations!) today, wrote 1.66 syllabi, and ran a bunch of errands. But I still have those moments when I feel alone. Sometimes I feel like I don't really belong in the South. Sometimes I'm afraid that I won't make friends or that I won't find a church that I like. Sometimes I hate the fact that I'm so far away from my family.
The worst was Sunday night. I was sad and lonely, but I had finally calmed myself down and gotten ready for bed by watching some episodes of Modern Family. Then, in the corner of my eye, I see a GIANT cockroach running toward the couch. Before I could run and get a shoe to step on it, it had disappeared under the couch. The next hour was spent scaring it out from under the couch, scaring it out from under the bookcase, spraying it with supposedly deadly spray, and watching it run back under the couch again. At this point, I was almost in tears and thinking, "Why did I move back to the South!?" (To my credit, this thing was three times as big as any roach that came into the dorms at Union.) I called my mom and she suggested I keep the light on in my room and go to bed. (I had previously refused to go to bed knowing that thing was out there and could come into my room.) The next morning, the spray must have gotten to it, because it was curled up on my kitchen floor. I stepped on it about 7 times to make sure it was really dead.
Since then, I've mostly recovered and realized that, even with giant bugs, I can probably handle living in Georgia. I also am trusting God to provide friends and help me adjust to the new job. And although this post emphasizes the fear part of the move, I also have to say that I AM really excited about things. I'm looking forward to things like wearing regalia to convocation and teaching an entire class in British literature and getting to pray with my students. (I realize that, if the order of that list shows my priorities, they may be backwards.) And I also love things about the South, like friendly Post Office workers and next door neighbors who give you hugs when they meet you.